My Dream Is You
by Scarpaw
Summary: The way you said I love you: Loud, so everyone could hear. Helen wanted to break up with Aline, but Aline didn't quite agree with her reasons. Post-CoHF, Heline


Hey-o! This takes place post-City of Heavenly Fire, and probably doesn't take Lady Midnight into account (I haven't read it yet unfortunately '-.-) This was inspired by a tumblr prompt of "Ways you said I love you: Loud, so everyone could hear"

Initially this was supposed to be Malec, but as I was thinking about it I felt what I had planned fit Heline more, so this is what came about!

Please enjoy~!

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

 _ **My Dream Is You**_

 _The way you said I love you: Loud, so everyone could hear. Helen wanted to break up with Aline, but Aline didn't quite agree with her reasons. Post-CoHF_

They were arguing over something ungodly stupid. Aline didn't remember what, all she knew was that Helen was walking away, upset with her. Maybe the looks they had been getting from the other Shadowhunters, maybe something else, but that wasn't the point.

The point was that Helen had suggested – or maybe outright said, Aline wasn't sure at this point – that they break up. She didn't want Aline suffering the hate she received from the others for being half-faerie, let alone from them being in a relationship. Really, Helen did not so much as suggest they break up as she _did_ break up with Aline.

Aline would have been fine with Helen breaking up with her, had it been a good reason. She realized that it was Helen's decision on whether or not she wanted to stay in this relationship, and if she decided she didn't want to date Aline any longer, that was her business. As long as it was a nice clean break-up, with both sides parting rather amicably considering the circumstances, Aline would have been fine with it.

(She thought, maybe, that they both had learned something from Alec and Magnus, and how their break up had been. How a messy break without talking about _why_ they were breaking up and the insecurities that led to it made it worse instead of better. But that was neither here nor there, and Aline wasn't one to start criticizing Alec and Magnus' relationship unless asked.)

But Helen _hadn't_ broken up with Aline for a good reason.

"I don't think it's fair to you." She had said, speaking more to her food than Aline. It was completely out of character for Helen, and Aline had never seen this side of her before. The Helen Aline knew was boisterous, didn't care about what other people thought, always spoke her mind. Though, she had noticed, after being sentenced to Wrangel Island, Helen had changed a bit, and not in a good way. She was more reserved, more self-conscious. Sure, Helen still made the same snarky comments and toed the line for the rules and whatnot, but it was less than what she normally did.

"You shouldn't be signing your life away to Wrangel Island." Helen had said, not making eye contact at all with Aline, not letting Aline speak – though, if she had, Aline wouldn't have known what to say. "It's not fair to you, being banished here when I'm the one the Council is upset with." The one the Council hates, the one they're discriminating against, the one who has been _banished for no reason._

"You never wanted to study the wards, you never even wanted to come near Wrangel Island." Helen spoke so fast it was like she wasn't even breathing. "You wanted to run the Institute in Beijing, wanted to be Inquisitor, you had so much you _wanted to do_ , and it's not fair for me to be keeping you back."

But Helen had wanted things too. She had wanted to be the top Shadowhunter, had wanted to become an instructor at the Academy once it was fully back on its feet. Helen had wanted to be an Ambassador between the Fae Folk and Idris, had wanted to help stop the discrimination kids who were half-Shadowhunter half-Downworlder experienced.

"That's why it's better off if we're not a thing." Helen had continued breathlessly. "Without me shackling you down you have nothing keeping you here, nothing making it so you can't achieve your dreams. We're better off that way."

And she had abruptly stood up, pushed away from the table, and started walking away. Without so much as a goodbye or a chance for Aline to say anything in response. Aline just sat there and watched her, watched her make her way across the cafeteria. Mulling over what Helen had said, stuck, as if in shock, because Helen couldn't really be breaking up with her, could she?

Helen was almost at the door, and Aline had to do something. She couldn't just let Helen _leave._ If Aline let Helen leave, that would be the last she saw of her. Helen would find some way to avoid her, and would try to avoid her until things reached a boiling point where she was either a hell lot madder than she was now, or had inadvertently convinced Alec to come over and chew Helen out. And Aline wouldn't wish that on anyone – Alec could be pretty damn mean when something pissed him off enough.

"I love you!" She shouted, because it was the first thing that popped into her mind. Aline shouted it loud enough to be heard over the cacophony of the cafeteria, loud enough to get everyone to quiet down just a little bit, and to make Helen stutter a step. It wasn't enough though, so Aline pushed the plates and glasses out of the way and clambered onto the table.

"I love you Helen Blackthorn!" Aline shouted louder this time, going so far to cup her hands around her mouth to make her voice project farther. "I love you more than Abigail loved David, more than you can ever comprehend!" Helen stopped, but she hadn't turned around, so Aline kept going.

"I chose to come here because I love you! I love every single part of you." And okay, this was probably both _the_ most awkward love confession and lover's spat to ever occur, but Aline was committed. She had started, so she was going to finish it, hell and high water be damned. "My dreams be damned, you had your own dreams, and then the Council royally screwed you over!"

"So to hell with dreams!" Aline really didn't know where she was going with this. "We can make our own dreams, the Council be damned! The Council may have banished you here, said it was for life, but when has the Council ever upheld a ruling they made?"

It was getting even more awkward than before, and Aline belatedly realized that maybe she shouldn't have said that. She really just needed to wrap up what she was saying and get off the table and finish this conversation in private.

"What I'm trying to say," Aline finished, looking to see that Helen had turned around and was looking at her, "is that I love you Helen, and you could _never_ make me do something that I did not want to. I'm here because I _want_ to be, because I want to support you. I don't need those dreams when I'm with you – you _are_ my dream, and any dream I have in the future wouldn't be complete if you weren't by my side."

With that, Aline awkwardly climbed down off the table, and held her head up high as she strode across the cafeteria to stand in front of her girlfriend.

"So," She told Helen, "You can break up with me if you want to, but I swear by the Angel if you tell me again that you're doing it for my own good I'm going to kick your ass so far down into Hell that Jonathon Shadowhunter himself will have trouble bringing you up to Heaven where you belong."

Helen, who had had as neutral expression as one could in that sort of situation, cracked a smile and gave a laugh.

"Well, if you're sweet talking me like that, how could I break up with you?"

She threw her arm around Aline's shoulder, and they left the cafeteria together.

Like they always did.

* * *

 _A quick thing: If you are ever in an abusive relationship, please don't feel like you need to tell your abuser why you are breaking up with them. Just break up with them. This is aimed more towards people who are in a good or neutral relationship - if you want to break up, at least make it amicable and don't leave your partner wondering why you broke up with them. That's kinda shitty. And you might get 50 texts asking why you broke up with them and 'I still love you's and yeah just be nice about it._

 _Please read and review! If you ever want to chat, or want to send in a writing requests, requests are always open on my tumblr - kixaxstyx._


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